Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
ok first of all what the fuck
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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