just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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