I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
