My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Randomize
