i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
