If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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