everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
