Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
