It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
