Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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