I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
