fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
