I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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