Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
