I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
