This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
