so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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