sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
