hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
