I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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