Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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