your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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