I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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