i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
