craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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