i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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