Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
