I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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