is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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