you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
