I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Your cock deserves a montage
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Randomize
