i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
