he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
