Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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