I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
