When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
