he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize