I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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