I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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