I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
