is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
