Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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