im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
