I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
