overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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