I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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