guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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