That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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