Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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