I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
