he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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