why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
