I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we're making bets on your personal life
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
