I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
A bitchslap is in order.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
