2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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