A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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