This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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