i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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