But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
