i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
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its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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