Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
