so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
