My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
